I will give a Gaboreus a shield and a stick

So I thought I made a deal with the Hockey gods this week: The Sharks could take Monday -even in a a rout- if the Rangers would then prevail Thursday and Saturday against the Devils then the Habs. The thing is I picture the hockey heavens like Clash of the Titans with all the various figureheads battling amongst themselves for superiority and command in the most melodramatic way possible. Kinda like the GMs at the NHL draft with a lot more bitchiness. Anyway they must be a fickle bunch to let my boys conquer for 7 games straight, just to take all their glory away with two mediocre losses. Especially to the Devils. I fucking hate losing to Brodeur. Fortunately I haven't had to stomach it often, so this had better not be the start of a new trend. Also Laurence Olivier had better not take into his Zeus-size brain to break off Gaborik's hip before placing #10 in Olympus' model hockey rink. How will Gaborik defeat the Cracken (Crosby? Emery?) if he's on IR? Well I hope the powers that be are feeling in favor with the Rangers this weekend because I'd very much like to leave Bell Centre with 2 points.
There have been some highlights despite the losing streak this week. First was dearly departed Freddie Sjostom's first goal as a Flame. It's a beauty and look at Freddie's happy smiley face. Love that guy still, especially because he's in the west and we only play him once this season. What are the chances that Freddie didn't want to be shown up by that other Swede, 9 year-old Oliver Wahlstrom, so he came up with his own spinorama? I say pretty good.

My favorite Swede Henrik Lundqvist also softened the blow last night with his post game interview. Hopefully y'all saw it because he said something to the effect that he loves beating the Devils then looks into the camera, winks and says, "We'll get them next time!" Delicious. Might be his best interview moment since beating the USA in the 2006 Olympics. And not to be upstaged, Sean Avery debuted his own website this week. Very promising. Check out the 2nd photo of him taunting Flyers fans, but be forewarned - I noticed razor burn near his manline when I clicked open the page 2 shirtless photo. Very disturbing, but I love the Avery shirt even if it looks a little like tattoo art out of a cracker jack box. At least Avery's gear is better than Ovie's!

no diablos, no mariaches

Yesterday was a banner day for Brian Leetch. He was named as a first ballot inductee for the Hockey Hall of Fame along! Congrats #2, very well deserved. Enjoy it even if you have to put up with Brett Hull the whole time.

Unfortunately it was not such a banner day me, Miss Dollie Banner. Getting ready for work I noticed smoke coming out of the outlet above my oven. Great, chances are there's a fire in the wall. I call my landlord in a panic and he sends up the 2 Spanish brothers who have been doing an interminable amount of home construction in my building. Everything's already a bit dicey when I notice the younger brother has a red and black jersey on. Sure enough he turns around and it's sporting a blasted Devils logo. Now I'm in a literal and figural hell. When my landlord came up I complained about it and he told him, "No Diablos!" Turns out my kitchen wasn't burning, but was embarrassingly dirty

It's hard to get away from the Devils, right Leetch? That club refuses to let the Rangers celebrate anything on their own. First Scott Stevens gets inducted along side Mark Messier now Lou Lamoriello is also included in this year's festivities with a special innovators citation. Whatever. I'm surprised he'll have the time what with his nearly constant search for a Devils' coach. With Sutter off to Calgary, Lou's gotta look over the available candidates, his main criteria being a hardass who's bigger than Brodeur so the prize goalie isn't the fattest guy in the locker room. I'm thinking Michel Therrien.

Maybe this is all a sacrifice for a good draft (or a good Wimbledon). My friend Mike was joking the other day that Sather should trade down just to get rid of Wade Redden. Redden and a 1st round pick for a 7th round from Edmonton sounds great to me. At least I'm pretty sure Henrik and Avery aren't going anywhere. Speaking of Avery I cannot post without some Aves content. Here's a clip of him from Bonaroo last week. Loving the remix edition of his glasses with the lavender lenses. Very Mike Viola circa 2000. I'm thinking we should hook him up with Jack the Roadie.

Here's to an exciting and successful draft. I hope this one actually makes it to the team.

Tis the season

...of suck as far as the Rangers are concerned. I hope everyone's Christmas was merry despite the terrible play by our Blueshirts. I don't know what I was paying good money to watch last night, but I definitely saw a lot of scramblely play, bad passing and week shots. Drury was -3 with 1 shot on goal. That makes me sick. I hate losing to the Devils, more especially when the names Elias and Parise keep getting shoutouts over the PA at MSG. Just hate it. Almost as much as I loathe losing to the Islanders, so it had better not happen tomorrow night. I want an effort befitting our skills and our record.

Devils are Done aka We Won!!!!!!!!!!!

I should just let the pictures do the talking because I don't have anything of note to say. Just we won. Every game was a nail biter, but in each game we prevailed we pulled away in the final moments. It was like a little 15-20 second cushion that burst the tension bubble and let us enjoy winning. Ultimately I loved it.

Going into the series I was super worried about a repeat loss to the Devils and the feeling sat in my stomach like a brick. A suspicion that Avery was in no way gonna allow the Devils to take this one alleviated some of my stress. His tough play, his finishing and his antics made the series a complete delight. The only thing missing was his dry take on the series from game to game because he shunned the media throughout this series. Well, it was worth the wait because the comedy gems that rained down in his post-game interview with John Giannone were classics. Check the clip out. It's too bad we don't play Toronto next because Darcy Tucker is the only player Avery hates nearly as much as Brodeur. There's bound to be Avery comedy letdown. I'll just have to brace myself for it.

it starts!

So our first game is tomorrow night at the Devils. I have to say home ice would have been nice, but I'm comfortable beginning the 16 win quest on the road. Gives us a 2 game opportunity to take the advantage. The mission becomes take at least one of two. Let's meet this mission tomorrow- Day 1, Game 1.

Devils it is!

So we only got a point off the Islanders. I wasn't as upset with this loss as I probably should have been, especially as it was the last home game and I was in attendance. Henrik's focus was a little shaky, but to my mind Valiquette should have been rewarded with the start. Anyway, Jagr scored. Dawes scored, both in the game and the shootout. Freddie scored. It was beautiful.

So we're playing the Devils in the playoffs. Not my favorite matchup,
but winning will be so sweet. You know this outcomes give Avery a special thrill. This afternoon is a little tryout. And also decides home ice advantage. Let's kill them.


Also I have to say I'm super happy for Alexander Ovechkin and the Washington Capitals. Just look at how happy they are. I wish it weren't at the expense of the Hurricanes, and certainly their success cannot be at our expense, but I was rooting for them (and AO) hardcore. I'd like them even more without those bitches Poti and Brashear.

strong down the stretch

This picture says it all. Perhaps it was because in my nervousness I had to scrub the floor rather than watch the game with my eyes, but this loss didn't feel as bad as some others. The pic to your left is in honor of the Islanders photo I used a few months back. We all have these moments. Let's just not have any more this season, starting with tomorrow night's tilt against the Devils in our house. 7-0! Make it happen.

Five Golden Rings!!!!!

Hi,
There's only five games left and the first thing that came to mind was the Twelve days of Christmas. Will the Rangers give themselves (and J and D too of course) a big ole playoff present? I believe, I believe, I believe. So Sean Avery, the NHL's most hated player by 67%, is quoted as saying that with 10 games to go, "We need to win 9 of them." The one loss is already in the bank, so hopefully Avery can motivate our team with some of the sweetest trash talk in the league. I'm assuming that's what everyone means when they say he doesn't stop talking on and off the ice. Is his locker room dialog that different from his on-ice chatter? These are the questions I want answers to. If ya got em (or any locker room gossip), let me know - I can keep a secret.
So Saturday night J and I will be somewhere between Philly and NYC, but we most definitely will be rooting for our boys in blue super hardcore. I'm trying not to scoreboard watch, but it's been really tough not to wish utter failure on the other five teams chasing us. Maybe that's part of our job as fans though right? The Team should just be concentrating on achieving the wins, we should be wishing our enemies a great golf season. But of course I'm a little superstitious about this too. Remember when I highly enjoyed Brodeur getting pulled from a game a few weeks ago, then what happens? Henrik gets pulled in Montreal and I'm sure all the Devils and Islanders fans were squeezing a lot of enjoyment out of it. That's almost more galling than the loss. Yeah, what happens happens and let's go 5-0-0 to finish it out!

NOTE: three stars are for the month of march

hear the sound of marching, charging feet

Who is awesome? Sean Avery, who called Martin Brodeur (UGH!) a big whiner. A BIG WHINER! YES!!! And I missed it. Why? Because of a bleeping Knicks game, I had to watch the Rangers/Devils game on the Devils channel (though MSG said "Tune in to MSG2," there was no MSG2 last night). Grr. Still and all, Sean Avery is my new hero. Also, I watched the game, and saw the "goalie interference/roughing" moment in replay 62 times, and Brodeur started it. Whiner. BIG WHINER! Also, they are the Devils. And I am confident that God don't like ugly OR evil, I don't care how much they win.

scraping me off the ceiling

And the curse lifts.

I don't believe in big bad sports curses, the kind that are supposed to explain decades of losses. I do, however, believe I may be a jinx. True fact: Of all the Rangers games that I'd been to with Dollie (quite a few), only one was a win. And we'd gone with two other friends (shout out Sarah and Laurie!) to that game, so it doesn't even count.

Another true fact: I have tickets to 21 games this season. Now you don't want to miss games, but you also don't want to put your team in a bad spot. Well, the worries are over. They won last night, and we were there. It was a joy, a dream, a delight.

But what is up with the talking? Last week, there was a dude behind us going over all the merchandising for "V." Dollie: I thought I'd learned everything I need to know about "V" in a 1983 TV Guide. This week, some guy (same guy? no idea) kept talking about the history of Canadians in hockey. And there are a lot of Canadians in hockey. Also, he called Lindros by just Eric. As in "Eric is doing really well down in Dallas." Um, you're a lady. In all my years of Lindros love and lust, never once did I call him Eric. Even when I was practicing my vows. Come on.

Speaking of that guy being a lady at a hockey game — and me not being a lady at a hockey game (surely I am a lady at all other times) — I coined the new go-to Hate the Devils phrase. It is (drumroll) "SUCK IT, MARTY!" Though it is especially glorious being shouted through MSG, it can work for any team. Try it out. When your man scores on Brodeur, let it ring through the arena (or your home). It's such a good feeling.

I feel the storm, an old fury

I don't know how regular sports fans do it. Saturday night destroyed me. Two hellish losses. Ugh.

Another hockey night tomorrow. Wish us luck. Please. It's the Devils, and I just can't stand all the New Jersey fans in the stands. Punches may be thrown. I am a sore loser.