Thursday, March 29, 2007

Five Golden Rings!!!!!

Hi,
There's only five games left and the first thing that came to mind was the Twelve days of Christmas. Will the Rangers give themselves (and J and D too of course) a big ole playoff present? I believe, I believe, I believe. So Sean Avery, the NHL's most hated player by 67%, is quoted as saying that with 10 games to go, "We need to win 9 of them." The one loss is already in the bank, so hopefully Avery can motivate our team with some of the sweetest trash talk in the league. I'm assuming that's what everyone means when they say he doesn't stop talking on and off the ice. Is his locker room dialog that different from his on-ice chatter? These are the questions I want answers to. If ya got em (or any locker room gossip), let me know - I can keep a secret.
So Saturday night J and I will be somewhere between Philly and NYC, but we most definitely will be rooting for our boys in blue super hardcore. I'm trying not to scoreboard watch, but it's been really tough not to wish utter failure on the other five teams chasing us. Maybe that's part of our job as fans though right? The Team should just be concentrating on achieving the wins, we should be wishing our enemies a great golf season. But of course I'm a little superstitious about this too. Remember when I highly enjoyed Brodeur getting pulled from a game a few weeks ago, then what happens? Henrik gets pulled in Montreal and I'm sure all the Devils and Islanders fans were squeezing a lot of enjoyment out of it. That's almost more galling than the loss. Yeah, what happens happens and let's go 5-0-0 to finish it out!

NOTE: three stars are for the month of march

get a little action in


I love Colton Orr. And I realized that I never weighed in on his big knockout.

Please know that I am not an idiot who doesn't understand the difference between a fair fight where one guy got knocked out (it happens) and some Chris Simon-type vileness.

So, yeah. I think you are a delight, young Mr. Orr (of course I know you are reading this). You have been on my fantasy team since the beginning of the season, but lately you've moved up to the first line (good thing three fit on one line, eh?).

Also, thanks for the two goals. While my very particular type of fantasy team has absolutely nothing to do with points, those goals were nice to have.

Monday, March 26, 2007

What makes Henrik dance?


Well gold medals obviously, but I think his excellent play of late warrants at least a hip wiggle. The NHL agrees with me proclaiming Henrik the #1 star of the week today. I already knew he's the shit, but it's swell to have the powers that be concur, not just this week but two weeks ago too. I can only hope that he can repeat again next week and that someone loans him a gold helmet.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Aloha Honolulu


Does this dude look Hawaiian to you? Well he does and did to me when J asked me his name and I couldn't recall, so I dubbed him Aloha Honolulu. That was probably in October and we haven't called him anything else since. Turns out he's half Inuit and half Asshole. At that time I was half-heartedly rooting for the Islanders because everybody was counting them out, much the same as they were my fabulous Rangers last year. Obviously that was before the Islanders beat us 4 times consecutively in regulation and I had to hear them chant "You Can't Beat Us" in my own building. I wouldn't disrespect the Mausoleum like that, no matter how hard I'm rooting for my Blueshirts. Then of course there was Chris Simon's attack on Ryan Hollweg, which sucked but not as much as Aloha's bitch-ass followup comments. Then I heard that when he was coaching Buffalo he went after Hasek's wife! Aloha, you must have been partying too hard at the luau to hit on your star goalie's wife, geez. Now if he made a pass at Henrik, that I could understand.
So anyway I had this daydream that we would make the playoffs and the Islanders wouldn't and the headline in the papers would read "Aloha Honolulu". While we in no way smothered the Islanders playoff hopes, we did manage to snatch another point from them today with a snazzy overtime goal, putting us in 6th and extending our lead over the 8th, 9th and 10th spots by 3. Hopefully we can keep scratching out these wins. Let's hope Henrik stands as strong and tall as he has been since the new year and that our offense comes alive in these last 6 games. Good karma keep on rollin'!

Feel a little Pöck

Hello Everybody!
Today was a very illuminating one for J and my relationship with Ranger #22 Thomas Pöck. Everytime he's spoke all season we've been like, "Why does he sound like Todd Foulsham (Beantown rock star) as opposed to Polish Tommy (go-to foreign accent guy)?" when Pöck hails from Austria? J's explanation was that even Schwarzenegger sounds like he's in The Departed once in a while. A valid theory, but today we found out it was because he spent his college years at UMass Amherst. Ahhh, that's explains it. Next we found out he's awesome when he saved the day on a wicked goal with 100 seconds left in regulation, earning himself hero accolades and a number 3 star. We knew he couldn't have such an integral (only to us) nickname (see subject heading) for nothing. Too bad he didn't score at the Garden (or our dreamworld to be more accurate) because then they could have played Next's "Too Close" as his theme song. I'm certain it could be as popular with the kids as the Hossa ditty, they just have to give it a chance. Of course some dude on some team's name is Hammy and I think they should play the "Hamster Dance" for him. It would rock arenas all over North America.
In a related note, my pre, present and post game paranoia/karma traditions have now started to include a mantra where I run down the whole roster line by line and chant "I Believe in (fill in Ranger name)". You never know who's gonna step up and make the game winning play and sometimes our players need a little personal faith thrown their way to put them over. J and I have enjoyed Pöck all season, so I'm very happy to bestowed a little extra edge to his game, now let's just hope I can extend our good karma into tomorrow's game v. the Fishsticks. I Believe in you Rangers.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

that joke isn't funny anymore

Stickhandling off the ice explained!

Alright, so it's drills for when ice isn't available. Makes perfect sense now that you tell me. But I still like my theory better.

PS We won! Yay!

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Shanny's back, tell a friend

What more can I say? Top billin'!

Monday, March 12, 2007

the girls, they love to see you shoot


Here's the day in hockey recap:

Rangers take it in overtime, another game winner from my man MC.

Rangers coach Tom Renney says MC's game is better because Cullen finally got his wife "under control."

New York Islanders coach Ted Nolan wins the Douchebag of the Week award. (last paragraph).

Enjoy!

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

though you're not mine, I can't deny you

Jorge was there. I think he grew. For serious, dude was 7 ft tall all of a sudden. He was there and 9 million ugly awful Islanders fans were there.

And we gave up the first goal, but I didn't cry.

Then we got a goal (on a Cullen assist) and I didn't cry either.

But when it went to a shootout, and Matt Cullen got the only goal and made us win and was named the #1 star of the game, well, I didn't cry then either, but I did clap and scream and jump. "That's MY Matt Cullen," I said.

Don't you forget it.