Monday, July 27, 2009

midsummer malaise

videoI am definitely suffering from some midsummer malaise. Wimbledon, the NHL draft and free agency only covered me through the very beginning of July. Now I'm forced to fish for info on enemy blogs and sniff around like an anteater for morsels of hockey related innuendo. Thank God Warner Bros pushed Harry Potter 6 back from November to July. I love that kid, both the character and the actor Daniel Radcliffe. While I'm enthralled with Harry's destiny, Dan is just way cooler than Harry. You'd assume that he be the personification of middle of the road, but even at 15 he had surprisingly great taste in music and basically everything else. This is the moment I fell for him, years before he decided to display his bits 8 times a week on Broadway (thanks Dan). I'm just crazy about his dorky enthusiasm. He actually reminds me a great deal of Roger Federer - both cool dudes, comfortable with themselves but also total spazzes. Y'all know how much I love Rog, and I'm so happy for him and Mirka, proud new parents of twin baby girls. He's gonna be the best papa (and the most stylish too!)

On to hockey, there hasn't been much news, especially for my blueshirts, just enough to keep my mind busy from one Sunday to the next when I cannot wait to read Larry Brooks' Slap Shots column. He always delivers at least one spot-on jab every week. This week he called Jeremy Roenick "Jere-me". Classic. Unfortunately his column hasn't had the degree of speculation of past summers, but there has been a little floating around. First is that Shanahan is only considering the Devils and the Rangers, especially now that Renney has moved on to Edmonton. I'm still not sure how Shanny will fit in with this team, but I do know we're short on LWs and I would love this guy back in blue. I tried to ignore his recent months in red and black, and I'll just forget them all together if he's back in my locker room. Besides with Freddie gone we have to pump up our scar quotient. Nobody does face scars better than Shanny, unless you count Oliver Reed. The other former Red Wing looking to sport the Blue, white and red is that bag of bones Chris Chelios. I have a couple of problems with this potential signing. First Chelios is ancient. It was one thing to cheer him when he was captain of the US team at the 2002 Olympics, but that was 7 years ago. We just don't have the budget or the room on the bench for a guy who can only contribute to a quarter of the season. Pre-lockout surely, but not now. Plus Sean Avery let drop a while back that Chelly's not fond of the stick raise tribute the Rangers originated in the NHL a few season's back. Chelios is just jealous that he can't raise his stick above half-mast without the aid of CIALIS. The only benefit might be his BFF John McEnroe would give the Rangers even more shoutouts during tennis broadcasts, but even less people watch tennis than hockey. I know they'll all be partying at Warren 77 if this all plays out.

Sean Avery's been doing his part to stay in the news, dating footballer's castoffs and showing off his disco abs in the Hamptons. If he wants to moonlight at my personal trainer, I'd be happy to follow his every instruction. C'mon Sean, I need something to keep me occupied until September. Can you work out to Belle and Sebastian?

Thursday, July 16, 2009

not so happy

So normally the first game of the season is something to look forward to. There may be a little nervousness, but even if your team totally fucks up they have 81 more games to right the ship. Not so this season for the New York Rangers. In another snub by Bettman and the NHL, the NYRs get the very worse opening game of the season - against the f'ing Stanley Cup winning Penguins at the Igloo. C'mon now! It's bad enough those assholes had to win the cup - they had to do it in Detroit. So Oct. 2nd will be their homecoming party, and I'm gonna have to sit through it just to see my team play. I plan to eek what enjoyment I can from it hopefully with a blowout win.
Shortly after J and I attended Casino Night in March we noticed that those players we didn't interact with soon were wearing other jerseys. In the case of Nigel Dawes and Petr Prucha it was totally unintentional. Gomez took a little longer, but no love loss there. Now the curse has passed on to those we did meet (and love) -Freddie, Colton Orr. Now, our beloved bearded Paul Mara has moved on to Montreal. I'm gonna miss him, his beard, and his effort. Also the Korpedo will be having Suntory times without us out in Phoenix (if they're still there come September). I hear Suntory tastes great with cake. Betts and Zherdev are likely next. Luckily Henrik is the only player apparently safe from the curse, and Avery had the good fortune to sign 2 days after the event.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

I've seen the (Tim Horton's) sign

I've been feeling a little down and worried about our 2009-10 roster this week. Sure we've got Gaborik in the picture, but who will be his linemates? Then Zherdev fucks around with his very solid qualifying offer, opting for arbitration. It pisses me off to think we gave up Tyutin for Zherdev just for Nik to bugger off to the KHL after a half-assed effort last season. Not only Tyuts, but Sather opted to qualify Nik in lieu of perhaps signing Antropov or my beloved Freddie. Completely suck. Then there's the whole Brashear issue. I might have said this before, but man that peeps diorama has been nothing but a jinx. First we lose to the Caps in the first round. Then they lose to the Pens who then go on to win the cup. To cap off the curse we actually let Orr walk and sign Brashear in his place. Larry Brooks had a pretty scathing take on this move. I totally concurred, but then my heart softened when I read this Washington Post piece from last May. Who knew Brashear had so much in common with Harry Potter? Sean Avery better watch out because Brashear's life would make for a much better movie. Ok, maybe a Lifetime movie, but still compelling. I hope they room together and bond over their mutual love of Phillipe Starck.

So here I am getting stressed over something that 1. I have no control over and 2.Isn't much of an issue until mid-September. Part of the problem is the lack of Hockey coverage - no NHL on the Fly, no Hockey Night in Canada radio. Totally understandable because there is no hockey Dollie, thus nothing to cover! I keep refreshing Yahoo! Sports hoping for relevant news to no avail. But then today two good things happened. We signed Ales Kotalik, formerly of the Sabres and recently of the Oilers. Don't know much about him but he kinda looks like Chad Hunt(nsfw) in this photo. Good enough for me. He should don a shirt and drop that towel. Our Czech contingent is getting bigger by the minute!

Then I heard great news. 13 Dunkin Donuts locations are being magically transformed into Tim Horton's franchises by Monday morning. Not only that but 3 of them are in close proximity to MSG. I've long been addicted to Tim's incomparable cocoa, and their Timbits kick Munckin ass. In the past I've gritted my teeth every time hockey coverage has shown the Tim Horton's logo adorning the boards of opposing rinks. How dare these enemy teams have access to that delicious cocoa? Now our boards can be Hortonriffic too! I think it's an omen of success and fun for the upcoming season, thus burying all of my previous doubts. Ok, not quite, but at least the games will be tastier. Note of caution: "Toujour Frais" means "Always Fresh", not "Always Strawberries"! It's a common translation problem with only a passing knowledge of French. Bottoms up!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Stay gold Andy Roddick!

Aw Andy I'd like to give you a hug too! I have to be careful what I wish for. Whenever 2 of my favorite players oppose each other I always hope for a good match, but Sunday proved to be a little too good. How can you celebrate Federer's awesome accomplishment in the face of Roddick's disappointment? Over the last weeks Andy said one of the advantages of being on tour for so long now is that there aren't many situations he hasn't experienced before, isn't prepared for. I can guarantee that he's never served to stay in the Wimbledon championship final at 14-15 in the 5th! So maybe next year on the green lawns (or even this year at the U.S.Open) this new experience will propel him even further. Maybe Agassi will give him a call and remind Andy it took him four finals losses before he ever hoisted one.
And Andy don't forget Goran's brilliant run to his fourth Wimbledon final and only Grand Slam win in 2001. You should have ready recall of your 3rd round match which I believe looked something like 7-6, 7-6, 6-4. He was so moved by beating you he literally ripped his shirt off. Notify Lacoste, I want to see some of that action at Wimbledon 2010! Breakaway polos are the future. I've seen Goran's name etched on that beautiful Golden Cup and I want nothing more than to see yours there too.

As much as I feel for Roddick, I cannot ignore Roger's unbelievable 15 Slam wins. While I was pulling for both players, as soon as Sampras took his seat (late too!) alongside Bjorn Borg and Rod Laver, I knew Roger had to win. Pete may not be as distasteful now but he still sports that ultra-smug look, and the thought of him enjoying Roger's possible defeat was enough to tip the scales of my favor. Not that it has much to do with me, Federer being the Greatest of All Time and all. Congratulations Roger!

Friday, July 3, 2009

leggo this uggo

Well I made the mistake of daring Sather last post and you know what he did to show me up? He signed Donald "Monster Face" Brashear. I can't stand that fucking guy, especially not in exchange of my beloved 4th line. Maybe he'll at least sport his G.I. Joe action figure beard this upcoming season so I don't have to see all of his face. Gotta work with us Brashear. Adding insult, Sather didn't even let us enjoy the absence of Snottie Gomez for a full day before dropping one of the dirtiest players in the league in our laps.I will say the Gomez deal was ideal, and I'm totally optimistic about Gaborik joining our team.
How cute is he here, drafted 3rd in 2000 to the Wild. I'm glad we got him instead of that jerkoff Heatley on the left. Who wants a guy that dicks around his team (and others) this much? I'm still a little nervous and not exactly resigned to the loss of Freddie and Colton Orr. What if Slats gives up too much on another gamble? Or buys up a lot of lower tier contracts like he did last year? What will our team look like, play like? Can Brashear be Wolf Pack bound. A girl can only hope.


One of the best things about tennis is that there is no GM, no overlord making decisions for the good or evil of his team, mostly on wing and a prayer. Ultimately it's just one player and his skills set against another's. In a Grand Slam tournament that means paring down 128 contenders to just two for the championship. Luckily for me my two favorite men are in the final of my favorite Slam, Wimbledon. So a whole lotta people, mostly Brits, were hoping for a Federer v. Andy final at Wimbledon. So was I, but I set my heart on a Roddick/Roger final from the very first serve, and they both delivered my wish today with masterful semifinals. I'm so proud, of Roger for his 7th consecutive finals appearance on grass and to Andy Roddick for playing to his full potential. I just don't know who to root for. I predict the match will resemble their first Wimbledon final in 2004. Very tight and well played, that's what I really want. May the best man win.