let's play catch, I'll throw the shade

I was just walking home from the subway, and what did I see but some butthead buttface in an Islanders jersey. In Brooklyn! Please.

He wasn't facing me at first, but I could tell from the back what a despicable shirt he was wearing, so I started walking slower, giving the guy a chance to turn around so that I could deliver some serious shade. This is the playoffs, son. No playing.

When he turned around, I gave him a look of utter disgust (this was silent-movie quality miming — he could see it from the 1/2 block away) and shook my head real slow like. The dude clearly wasn't expecting what hit him. He's lucky he got off so easy. Next time, he's getting read. And I'm stealing his dog.